Out with the old and in with the new!

Some have asked for details about Hoffman's Gap Year. Most have expressed support, and few have offered cautions. What a luxury to sculpt time and space so there's room to sort myself out and I am grateful. I want to really live instead of merely existing. I no longer desire conformity to the expectations that have restrained me in the past. No, Hoffman's Gap Year isn't a time-out; it's more a listening tour. Yes, I will try to learn as much as possible but I am also going to listen to myself and be true to my nature. I feel powerful.

I started this plan about a year ago with clarity that I was happier and healthier and SANER on a cozy sailboat in the Caribbean with the man I adore. I like to exaggerate that I fell in love with a man who sailed away from me, a story dripping with drama, but the reality is that part of me left forever on that first passage, stowed-away on the boat in hopes that my remainder returns. That spellbinding man and I have made a few other trips together since he retired to cruise the tropical waters, and the adventure means that I visit the missing part of myself along with the man who really gets me. This is about love for a man and a boat---but mostly myself---in ways that are new and profound. 

I've chased adventure my entire life with considerable ennui when I've neglected to take the path less traveled. The zest for fame and fortune leaves me confused and I love collecting experiences over consumer items. I am not entirely immune to the trappings of comfort and entertainment, so I have to out myself as financially fickle. I will learn more about the relevance of material things in the coming months.

I miss my grown kiddos. It's painful, sometimes, to know that they have their own lives and dreams away from mine. I never wanted to be a helicopter parent and I won't burden them. I can't rely on them to fill my time, just my heart. It's natural for us all to grow up. I want to keep growing by following adventure, even if it means that my arms are empty of the children I bore and raised. Our love is eternal. My son and daughter are my gifts to the universe and I know it is better with them in it.

But holy hell! Speaking of drama and adventure, how about embarking on a journey into the unknown in the midst of a global pandemic! What a time to take risks! The complications surrounding this era shape-shift and priorities dissolve and re-rank. I can't tell if this is the perfect time to leave my career, benefits and stability, or the worst? 

The first hour after leaving work for the last time, presumably right after my employer health insurance ended, I moved a cupboard into my back hall and dropped it on my head, splitting my brow and giving me a black eye. Adventure #1 for Hoffman's Gap Year! This is how it unfolds.

https://www.tiktok.com/@krishoffman/video/6820438804004982021